Sunday, December 27, 2009

Christmas and the challenge...

Well Challenge 3 has ended. I started out at 250 pounds and I currently weigh 211. I am so pumped for challenge 4 to start. I have ate some bad things since the challenge ended but for the most part I am still sticking with it. Challenge 4 starts on January 4th.
Christmas this year was nice. It was peaceful. I finally found my camera cord so I will try to upload pictures today. It has been a nice break. Hubs, Drake, and Ryne(my stepson) have layed around and played football on the Playstation for most of the time though. Well back to cleaning for now... until then.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

helping husband grow dr gary chapman

Helping Your Husband GrowWives can't change their husbands, but wives can and do have a tremendous influence on their husbands. How can you make that influence positive? 1. Men respond positively to praise. One of the most common complaints men make in my office is: "Dr. Chapman, in my work I am respected. People come to me for advice. But at home, all I get is criticism." What she considers suggestions, he reads as criticism. Her efforts to stimulate growth have backfired. Give him praise. The fastest way to influence a husband is to give him praise. Praise him for effort, not perfection. You may be asking, But if I praise him for mediocrity, will it not stifle growth? The answer is a resounding "No". Your praise urges him on to greater accomplishments.My challenge is to look for things your husband is doing right and praise him. Praise him in private, praise him in front of the children, praise him in front of your parents and his parents, praise him in front of his peers. Then stand back and watch him go for the gold.2. Requests are more productive than demands. None of us like to be controlled, and demands are efforts at controlling. "If you don't mow the grass this afternoon, then I'm going to mow it." I wouldn't make that demand unless you want to be the permanent lawn mower. It is far more effective to say, "Do you know what would really make me happy?" Wait until he asks, "What?" Then say, "If you could find time this afternoon to mow the grass. You always do such a great job."Let me illustrate by applying the principle to you. How do you feel when your husband says "I haven't had an apple pie since the baby was born. I don't guess I'm going to get any more apple pies for eighteen years"? Now, doesn't that motivate you? But what if he says, "You know what I'd really like to have? One of your apple pies. You make the best apple pies in the world. Sometime when you get a chance, I'd really love one of your apple pies. Chances are he'll have an apple pie before the week is over. Requests are more productive than demands. 3. Love is a two way street. If a wife wants to enhance her husband's ability to give her emotional love, perhaps her greatest influence will be in loving him. In my book, The Five Love Languages, I talk about the importance of discovering your husband's primary love language - the thing that really makes him feel loved: words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, physical touch, or acts of service. Once you discover it, pour it on. Husbands are drawn to wives who are meeting their emotional need for love. Can you do it, even if he is not loving you. God did. He loved us when we were unlovely. But that's God. I'm me. I know, but you are God's child and He can empower you to love an unlovely spouse. I've seen it many times. A wife chooses to speak her husband's love language, even though she doesn't feel loved by him. He warms up and in time begins expressing her love language. Can emotional love be re-born in a marriage? You bet. But someone must begin the process. Why not you? 4. Defensiveness reveals the inner self. A wife says, "Why does my husband get so defensive? All I have to do is mention that the grass needs mowing and he goes ballistic."This husband is revealing his self-esteem hot spot. Some experience in his past has tied his sense of self worth to mowing the grass. Your mention of the grass translates "She thinks I'm not doing my job. I work like crazy, and now she is on my case about the grass." He sees it as a negative statement about his worth. I know you didn't mean it that way. That's why I suggesting you observe his defensiveness, so that you can learn what is going on inside of him. We don't know these emotional hot spots until we touch one. It would be a good idea to make a list of all your husband's defensive reactions. Note what you said and did and how he responded. This insight will help you discover another way to discuss the topic that will be less threatening to his self-esteem. Both husbands and wives hold a tremendous influence on their spouse. However, it is up to you whether your influence is positive.

attitude of service dr gary chapman

Developing an Attitude of Service

Before marriage, I dreamed about how happy I would be when we got married. I had visions of all the wonderful things my wife would do for me. Sausage and eggs together in the mornings. Candlelight dinners at night. Holding hands all day long and sex every night. I assumed that she had the same visions. But, after marriage I found out that my wife didn't do mornings. So much for the sausage and eggs. She anticipated that I would take her out to romantic restaurants for dinner, not as a prelude to sex, but simply because I loved her. I expressed my disappointment with her and she expressed her disappointment with me. We succeeded in being utterly miserable. Our marriage didn't turn around overnight, but it did turn around. And so can yours. I want to share the secret. It all has to do with attitude. Jesus' life and teachings focused on sacrificial service to others. He once said, "I did not come to be ministered to, but to minister." It is a theme that all truly great men and women of the past have affirmed. Life's greatest meaning is not found in getting, but in giving. This profound principle made a significant difference in my marriage. Developing an attitude of service is not easy but the rewards are overwhelmingly positive. Few people will run away from someone who is serving them. My wife was no exception. When I reached out to serve her, it wasn't long before she was reaching out to me. Jesus had it right! Why did it take me so long to learn? How would a wife respond to a husband who sincerely sought to serve her? In my desperation I was determined to find out. I set myself to discovering her needs and desires and sought to fulfill them. I began quietly and slowly to do some of the things she had requested in the past. You see, by now we were too estranged to talk about our relationship, but I could choose to take action on some of her previous complaints. I started washing dishes without being asked. I volunteered to fold the clothes. It seemed to me these where the kind of things Jesus might have done had He been married. When she made specific requests, I determined to respond cheerfully and if possible to do them. In less than three months, my wife's attitude toward me began to change. She came out of her shell of withdrawal and began to talk again. I think she sensed that my days of preaching were over and that my attitude toward her was changing. Genuine acts of service seldom go unrewarded. Before long, our hostility was gone, and we began to have positive feelings toward each other.You see, if I believe that it is more blessed to give than to receive; that serving my spouse is more important than being served; that my best end is found in making her life better, then it will affect the way I treat her. When she sees this attitude expressed in my behavior she knows that something has changed. If I am consistent, then service becomes a lifestyle. Most wives and husbands are attracted to someone who shows genuine concern for them. The person who follows the example of Jesus - in serving others, is on the road to greatness and to a growing marriage relationship.

dr gary chapman articles about relationships

I get emails from a website Dr. Gary Chapman. I just had to post some of these articles. They really seem to help me at certain times and I hope they may be of some help to others.

On the Road to Reconciliation
Thousands of people experience marital separation every year. Many of them sincerely want to know, "What should I do, as a Christian?" First: Don't assume that separation equals divorce. Separation may lead to a restored, enriched, growing marriage. The individuals involved will determine the outcome of separation. Separation is not permanent. It either leads to resurrection or death. The Christian must always seek resurrection. This week, let's explore the possibilities of seeking reconciliation. Separation calls for intensive care, much like that given to those in grave physical danger. The condition of the marriage is "critical". Proper mediation is essential. Surgery may be required. That will call for the services of a counselor or pastor. What you do in the weeks following your separation will determine the quality of your life for years to come. Separation is not the time to capitulate. The battle for marital unity may just be beginning. Be assured, God is concerned about the outcome. You can count on Him for supernatural help. He will not abandon you in this time of pain. Separation means that a marriage is in desperate straits. Healing will require listening, understanding, discipline, change. But hard work can result in the joy of a restored marriage. I know that some of you are saying: "It sounds good, but it won't work. We've tried before. Besides, I don't think my spouse will even try again. I'm not even sure I want to try." I understand your feelings, but don't assume that the hostile attitude of your spouse will last forever, or that your own feelings are permanent. One of God's gifts to all of us is the gift of choice. We can change. Your spouse may be saying: "I'm through. It is finished. I don't want to talk about it." But three week or three months from now your spouse may be willing to talk. Much depends on what you do in the meantime, and much depends on your spouse's response to the Spirit of God. You pray. You work. You leave the results to God. When we chose to work on our marriages, we have all the help of God. God will not force your spouse to deal with issues and return to the marriage, but He will give you wisdom and strength as you seek to follow His will.Where do we turn for help when we are separated? For the Christian, there is one stable source to which we turn when we need guidance. That source is the Bible. In the Bible we find not only what we ought to do, but also the encouragement and power to do it. The words of Paul become our own: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:13).When we turn to the Bible for guidance, we discover that the Bible calls us to seek reconciliation. Divorce is not God's desire. It is true that ultimately you cannot keep your spouse from divorcing you. Even God had to grant Israel a divorce because she refused to turn from her sinful ways (Jeremiah 3:8). But that was after years of seeking reconciliation. And even yet, God has not given up on Israel - there will be future reconciliation.So we must seek reconciliation. Even if our spouse ultimately refuses our efforts, we will have the satisfaction of knowing that we were faithful to the biblical ideal.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

wow! things boys get into

Okay, Drake decided it looks way too cool to freeze his mini wrestling men into water and then let them thaw out and do it all over again. Well this time I caught him with a knive and I told him put it up, let the men thaw and I'll show him how to run hot water over it to thaw it out some more. Did he listen? N.O. He said ok. We ate dinner. He took a shower. Went to watch tv and I settled in for a nice relaxing bath. I got out and thought man I feel so good I think I'll call it a night early.
Well... while I was getting dressed Drake decided to sneak in the kitchen and try getting his men out with a knive. He cut his finger and tried to stop the bleeding by biting on his finger, trying to put tape on his finger, and grabbing a million rags out of the drawer. Poor baby!!! He didn't want to call me because he thought he would get into trouble for not listening to me. When he did call me he had blood everywhere. everywhere. He had it all over his mouth, chest, floors, cabinets, I screamed what happened. All he could say through the tears was I am sorry I should have listened to you I should have listened. I looked at it and took him to the ER.

cough....ahem...THIS MIGHTY FINE HOSPITAL..cough. we got there at 10:10 pm. We left at 1:30 am with 4 stitches in his little pointer finger. There were no emergencies while we where in there. I thought about waiting until the am and taking him to his doctor but when I showed it to our cousin which is a nurse she said yes take him to the ER. I felt so Bad for Drake. He was so nervous. He kept saying am I going to bleed to death. You know people bleed to death. I kept reassuring him he would be ok. He fell asleep and woke up to them giving him stitches. But something I thought was kinda cute while we were on our way to the ER room we past an older lady on a stretcher, they were wheeling her to a room. She had an oxygen mask on. So we get in the room and Drake says oh man next time just take me to a private hospital. I said why Drake. He said because didnt you see that grandma with that rag on her mouth. People are really sick and I got blood everywhere. Take to me the private hospital where people don't die. Poor baby.. So scared. When he did wake up while they were giving him stitches he saw the nurse had a pair of scissors in her hand. He screamed get those away they are sharp. I dont like sharp things. Lesson Learned!!!

Friday, August 14, 2009

It's been a while..

Well it has been a while. I am doing much better than my last update. I have taken the time and relaxed and enjoyed many massages. Sometimes it is better to take u time. I was looking at Facebook the other day and my sister told me to look at her son's page. He is 12. He just got back from church camp. He is one amazing kid. He has always done good in school. He is pretty quiet if he doesn't know you. My sister and her husband had some problems years ago. Well they started going to church and they have raised their kids in church. Here is some of his status updates on Facebook for many of his friends and others to see.

here is a favorite verse in a song it gives me chills every time i here it Morning breaks another day Finds me crying in the rain All alone with my demons I am Who is this man that comes my way? The dark ones shriek They scream His name Is this the they say will set the captives free? Jesus, rescue me!! the song is set me free by casting crowns here it tell me if you like it too!Read More
Tue at 9:30pm · Comment · / ·

Does God exist?That is a question alot of people want to know.But I know what the answer is.Do you?

No two Christians will ever meet for the last time
Live as though Christ died yesterday, rose from the grave today, and is coming back tomorrow
August 9 at 8:51pm · Comment · / ·

*I am not perfect ...* ... but I AM the enemy of the good! -

back from church camp it was absolutly AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All of these show how strong he is in his christianity. I am so proud of him and how he isn't scared to stand up and and say Yes I believe in God!!! Most 12 year olds are worried about what others think of them. They aren't strong enough in their faith of God to stand up and proclaim it to others.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Pissy Update........

Well I went to the doctor yesterday for my checkup. I am tired. I am frustrated. My body hurts. I am tired of saying I hurt. My new saying is I am doing fine. Why? Because I really don't want sympathy. I want to not hurt. This is what it feels like most of the week. My hands hurt to bend (dr. thinks its arthritis could be side effect from chemo or from crohn's), it takes me a minute when I stand up to walk correct, and my body aches. My body aches like I have the flu or I have done the shred with Jillian oh my... I am tired of hurting. I don't honestly know if I hurt worse because of the medicine or if I hurt because I keep going and try not to rest as much. I wanna keep excercising and doing household duties and working because I hurt bad now and I am scared if I stop doing this it will be worse. The doctor said it might be time to try to control pain with pain meds I don't wanna take this step. Why? I can't work, can't function on pain meds and I have a family, and I have family members who have become addicted to pain meds and I don't even wanna go thru that. I am pissy.. I turn 31 tomorrow and I feel like I am in a 90 year old woman's body. It has only been this bad the past two weeks. DR. M said yesterday that I was lucky these side effects didn't start earlier. Jan 6th is my last chemo treatment and I can't wait. Please don't get me wrong I don't want sympathy. I am grateful for what the health I do have. I know there are people out there fighting for their lives. I am sorry for that and the families. I had to get these feelings out somewhere. I don't wanna keep them in and let them explode on my family. Going to get a massage today and maybe just maybe I will feel all better.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Update on Kate and Challenge Update!

Gosh I just checked my updates on Kate. I watched this video of her if you have time please watch. Still so sad.

Challenge update....Well I am so freaking pumped. I have lost a total of 25 pounds since I started the first challenge. I never thought I would lose this much weight because I gained 80 on steriods and it has been a battle since then to take the weight off. I couldnt really tell except with my clothes on my weight lost except I saw a picture and I put them together of at work right before I started this challenge and now and I really see a difference. Heck yes... I really hope all the girls are doing good on the challenge also. Gotta go for now....until then...

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

kate mcrae and cancer

Please if you have a chance visit her site. It is so sad to know that everyday another child is getting diagnosed with cancer. I hate cancer. My dad died of cancer when I was 4. This makes you so thankful everyday for your children being healthy. I can't imagine the pain the parents are dealing with. Please if you have a chance say a prayer for kate and all the kids and families affected by this horrible disease.

no boundaries

I have really enjoyed reading the blog no boundaries. It is a blog where you can post private or post as yourself. Feel free to look at it and post and anything you wanna complain about, get advice about, or just to share that you don't feel like you can share on your blog because other family members read it. The website is

Challenge Update!

I would love when the challenge gets closer to the end for all of us to get together if not everyone then at least the AR beauties. I wanted to meet last time Tanna came into town and I had a to work. I would also love to hear any ideas on how everyone is doing working out while it is so darn hot outside. I have been doing water aerobics and I absolutely love it. I am trying to do anything to stay as cool as possible while working out. I don't mind working up a sweat while excercising just don't wanna be outside in 110 degrees if I don't have to be :)! Also I don't know if anyone reads her site Ree ( she has alot of recipes on there also. Most of them are fattening but she started another site where people can add recipes also and I have found a few low fat ones I am going to try.
The site is I hope everyone is also hanging in there on the challenge. It is almost half over and you will definitely see results by following the rules. I never stuck with something this long but I feel like if I let myself down I will also let down all the other ones trying so hard. I know this has been a life changing experience and I have made some "friendships thru blogging of course" that I never would have made. I thank God for all of you. Ok enough rattling for now.

Monday, July 13, 2009


Well I have had a crohn's flare up for the past 4 days. I talked to my gastro doctor and it looks like I will be going in for some testing. I did the liquids for the past 4 days and it helped some but not enough. The only thing I am scared of is that I will have to be back on steriods. I don't wanna be on steriods because I gained 80..yes count em 80 pounds the last time I was on them for so long. I have been doing good on this challenge and I really don't wanna mess that up. So please say a small prayer that the flare up will go away and steriods won't even come out of his mouth when I go see the doctor. Thanks!!!!

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Drake's 1st fish

Last night Drake and I went to a birthday party for my friend's little girl, Addison.

I should have brought a camera. Addie turned 3 and for her birthday we bought her a fishing pole. They have a stocked pond behind their house and the kids wanted to go fishing after the party. Should have known....we had no bait and Drake threw his line out there and will reel in back in screaming I got a fish, I got a fish. Well it would be grass. He threw it out in the water and was reeling it back in screaming I got a fish for like the 30th time and sure enough he caught his first fish. I took a picture with my camera phone. Very grainy but if you look to the left its Drake's first fish.

Also Addison doesn't really like to be dirty and she wore her sandals to the pond. She slipped in the mud and got one sandal very muddy and she didn't want to put on that shoe anymore. Here is how she decided to fish....her bare foot on her dad's boot; very sweet makes me want a little girl also....

and for a close up
Again I apologize for the quality of the pictures.

Thursday, June 25, 2009


Ok bathroom is almost done, I will upload pictures as soon as possible. Now for the challenge. I am starting water aerobics tonight! Considering in South Ark is about 200 degrees I think this is the best excercise I could think of right now. I am drinking more than required on my water intake mainly because it is so darn hot and water really quinches that thirst. Well better than a Sonic coke making you wish for more than a small. So has anyone done water aerobics? Did you like it? I have a coworker who swears it is the best exercise and it only cost 2 dollars a time. I am so excited. How is everyone else doing with the challenge? I know the summer time is the hardest with all the ice cream, sno cones, etc. Good luck to all...can't wait to see the results on Saturday!

Monday, June 22, 2009

Sad Sad Ending....

I made the mistake of watching Jon and Kate plus 8 tonight. I know I am not the only one who was crying. Spoiler alert.... I wanted them to say they were going to focus on the marriage for each other and the children. I wanted them to really work at making it a successful marriage. I know that the fame tore them apart but I don't think it was all to blame. I feel that they got married young, faced with twins not long afterwards, and then 6 more kids. Anyone married with children knows how hard it is with one or two kids. It is hard to take time out for your marriage when kids take up so much of your time. I can't imagine. But at the same time I understand how they were excited about the fame that came with the tv show. Come on vacations, tummy tucks, hair plugs, money, recognition. It all can seem so unreal and exciting but it can tear people apart. I also think that Jon was upset because Kate was the "breadwinner." She wrote books, went to speaking engagements, etc. while Jon stayed at home. I do hope for the kids sake that their parents will act civil to each other and remain on friendly terms for the kids. I couldn't imagine the heartbreak they are feeling because just because they are on TV...they are real people with real hearts....

Happy Father's Day

Today we were exhausted. We spent all day Saturday in Fordyce at the softball tournament. It was so hot. I really don't know how the men did it. I was about to pass out from sitting in the shade. Well we came home and relaxed and then Hubs got up Sunday and worked all morning on the bathroom. Then we relaxed and went swimming and then he came back and worked some more. I am so ready for this to end. The other day I was in there "helping" him and everything seems to go backwards. He taked two steps forward and three back on his work.

But anyway back to my original topic... Drake the spitting image of Dad... made him a card.

Happy Father's Day... I love you...I know you love me too...Drake, Ryne, and Lori

Then he made my father in law a card... To POPO...Happy Father's Day..I love you...I know you love me too.. Drake, Ryne, Lori, and Henry.... so funny because anyone that knows my husband knows that he never goes by Henry...

To Hubs....Thanks for all the hard work you do. Thank you for loving each of us and taking care of us. I love the crazy things you say to keep me laughing. I love how you always know what I want to eat, drink etc. I love that you know me well enough to know when something is wrong and I don't have to tell you. Thank you for being a great father and a wonderful husband. We love you!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Update on April Rose

I just read Angie's post at Bring the Rain and McMamma's post at My charming kids and the blog was a fake. So so sad that on that blog she would take prayer requests, etc and had many followers praying for her (b) and April Rose and people sending donations etc. I am saddened that she would scam so many and act like she was a CHRISTIAN. So sad...I think I will still pray for her for her to find her way....maybe she did bring some to Christ thru this fake blog.....

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Bathroom Remodel/updates on April

I am not getting to work out as much as I would normally this week because my husband has ripped out the entire bathroom. Don't get me wrong we needed it bad but we aren't able to stay at home right now because of it. So I get off work and go to the house and see what I can do to help him. I try to fit in a walk on my lunch break as I can this week. I will try to post some before pictures, during and after renovation soon. Right now we are staying with my inlaws and I don't have internet access out there. Other than that everything else is looking good. It has been very busy at work. Our fiscal year is June-July so the month of June is very crazy. Oh also does anyone else follow B &D and little April Rose's blog. All of a sudden April is born and the blog is gone. Does anyone know if this was a scam or was it a real person. I hope it was a real person because I did pray for April's mom and for little April to be born alive and healthy. She wasn't suppose to be born alive but if so she wasn't suppose to make it. Okay back to work I guess..until then.....

Beyonce....Where did you disappear to?

Ok can someone please tell me where Beyonce's hips are. She was well known for being beautiful but not stick skinny. Well hello..... why Beyonce would you join the ranks of all the other celebrities and look so unhealthy!!!!!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Update on Drake

We went to Children's today and the specialist said all the tests look perfect. Drake is allergic to dust mites, and mold but luckily all that has been checked and we don't have mold and I use mattress covers and pillow covers for the dust mites and of course vacuum his mattresses etc. They also think that whenever he had a sinus infection he had drainage in his throat. He believes he has a habit cough because sometimes when kids get sick they think they need to keep coughing even though they are well. I hope and pray this is the correct answer. I totally trust the doctors at Children's Hospital and want this to be the answer so bad. As far as the challenge nothing really to report doing good. Didn't excercise today due to being gone all day but I will tomorrow for sure. I hope all the new Beauties and the 1st challenge beauties are hanging in there and doing good. Good luck beauties! Until then.....

Monday, June 1, 2009

Challenge 2/ Update on Drake

I have officially started Challenge 2. WOW! I am pumped about this one also. I lost a total of 11 pounds for the first challenge and I did use all my cheats. Well my goal weight for challenge two is only 10 pounds but I definitely want to pass that. I didn't want to make it too high due to the fact that it is summer and I will be traveling more. I do like that it is summer though so more fresh fruits are out, watermelon is in season. Watermelon is my all time favorite fruit. This weekend my mother in law came over and we cleaned my house. We deep cleaned the house. We did all the windows, window seals, walls, vacuumed the beds, etc. I realized Saturday how bad I want a rainbow also. I really miss using one. Does anyone know where I could get one at around Little Rock area or Camden area?
Oh yeah...I am taking Drake to the pulmonary specialist tomorrow at Children's. I am hoping and praying for some results tomorrow. I am so tired of my son coughing all night and not getting any answers. I have tried it all. They have done chest xrays, all kinds of blood work and nothing is coming up. So please say a small prayer for him tomorrow that the doctors can find out what is causing this horrible dry cough. Until then.........

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Last week of Challenge 1

Okay this is the last week of challenge 1. I am saying challenge 1 because Tanna has decided to start challenge 2 and I am joining the new challenge also. I am doing bad this last week. It is Tuesday and I havent excercised yet. I have been having alot of things happen personally and in my family that is so depressing that it makes you wanna give up but I am excercising tonight to try to get my mind off things. I only have 4 tokens left in my excercise jar so I still have time. I did use my last cheat today. I was driving back from Little Rock and I stopped at chick-fil-a and I had some waffle fries. I am anxiously awaiting results from Children's Hospital on my son Drake also, so it is very hard not to cook a pan of brownies and eat them. I did finally get some good news today from my gastro doctor though. My lab work came back and I tested negative for Hep C so the chemo is working. Finally THANK GOD FOR SOME GOOD NEWS! It seems here lately that I was never going to have good news. Friday when we took Drake to Children's Hospital he had lab work and they did xrays. They really don't know what he has yet but alot of doctors and nurses said they haven't heard a cough like that before. He does have an appointment with a pulmonary specialist on June 2nd so I will need extra prayer please for this. It was so cute though, they put him in a hospital gown and he kept calling it a poncho. He told all the nurses he thought this poncho was cool could he wear it home. Well I will go for now time for another breathing treatment for Drake... until then....

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

My poor sick child....

My son has had this horrible cough for about 3 weeks now. I took him to see Dr. Braden for the past two weeks and Dr. Mosley yesterday. They don't have a clue what is causing him to cough. It is a horrible dry cough. I have tried vaporizer, humidifer, steamy shower, cool night air, vicks vapor rub, allergy medicine, cough medicines with coedine (SP?), antibotics, breathing treatments, and steriods yesterday. We sit in the waiting room and he is wearing a mask and everyone is starring at my child like he has a plague. I feel so sorry for him and wish I could take the pain away. They just called and he has an appointment at Children's Hospital in Little Rock on Friday so please say a small prayer that the doctor will find out what is wrong with Drake and that he can start feeling better soon. Until then.....

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Challenge update!

Well I have been doing better this week. I have excercised more and loving this challenge. I did use a cheat last week and and didn't lose a pound but I think it was because I didn't really excercise last. I have used 3 cheats I think now. I am not at home to make sure. I have lost only 7 lbs. and I only hope this number goes up on Saturday. I am going to Little Rock tomorrow to meet Tanna "THE BEAST" and I can't wait to meet all the other beauties. This challenge has been the best thing to come along for me. When I feel like giving up I don't because I know there are 49 other people out there that I would be giving up on. Well I better get back to work. Until then....

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Week 3...

So far Week 3 is not going good. I have had much depression and I am feeling really sick. I don't want to exercise or do anything but sleep. I need extra prayers please because my son's birthday is coming up and if I put the cake in front of me I will probably eat the whole thing. I really am an emotional eater and with the depression it is getting harder and harder to resist temptation. I did put a call into my doctor so maybe I will be put on antidepressants right now until I finish the chemo. I hope all the girls are doing good in the challenge. I am praying for each of you as you fight the urge in this challenge also. I really wanna work out tonight but today I am also fighting off nausea. So hopefully I will get a workout or two for the week is over. Until then......

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Week 2....

Well this weekend it rained here all day Saturday and I didn't work out any. But I have great results for Week 2 of the challenge. I have lost 7 pounds total and I used 1 cheat for 2 weeks. Much determination and encouragement from the other team members is definitely how I got this far doing this. This team is a great group of girls and it is so encouraging to be able to send out an email when you have a question or need some uplifting words. To all the Beauties out there......... Thank you! Week come on I am ready to dive into you head first!!!!!

Monday, April 27, 2009

Week 1 is gone!

Well week one of the 42 day challenge is gone and I was upset at first because on Saturday I only lost 1 pound. Yes....1 pound. But after reading Tanna's blog I felt much better because I did see a difference in how some of my pants buttoned up. Yes I could stand up and zip them up and not have to lay down and zip them up. That was nice!!!! So here is to week 2 of starting a new way of living and eating. The exercising is getting easier to do and the no sweets well that doesn't bother me as much. Fried foods don't sound good either. Way to go beauties on losing 97 lbs. This team is made up of an amazing group of girls that are dedicated. Until then....

Friday, April 24, 2009

42 day challenge update and Depression....

When I started taking chemo there was a chance it would cause depression. I have talked to my doctor about small bouts of depression and he said he wanted to start me on AntiDepressants. Well I insisted if it ever got bad enough I would call him back because I don't want another medicine. Well when has depression gone far enough you need the antidepressants? I don't think about suicide or any of that but my lord I have certain days my moods are crazy. I go from constanstly staying on my husband's back( he can't seem to do anything right even breathe- poor fellow) to crying and feeling so alone to feeling like my old self. I have NEVER experienced anything like this. But here is the thing- it only last for a day or so. I am hoping that this 42 day challenge will help these mood swings I am having because I seem to be excercising more which means I am to tired to Bit** as my husband says. And it only seems to happen on Fridays(the day I give myself the shot). Sometimes on Monday also but I think its because I am coming off the side effects of the chemo which makes me feel like I have the flu. I also have to confess I cheated today. I was working and my boss has always talked about spudnuts being the best donuts ever. Well I have never tried them and she went to ElDorado this morning and brought a dozen of spudnuts. I had to try one. When I say I had to try one I walked past the box like 10 times chewing the gum and carrying my water bottle....mouth watering just smelling them. Well I broke down and tried one and oh oh oh my......well worth the cheat. Now tonight I will think about that wonderful moist spudnut and work my tail off on the elliptical for at least 20 mins longer. OH i am sure that stupid spudnut won't be worth it after tonight. But it seemed like heaven for about all of one minute. Now if I can keep the rest of my cheats for next week all in the jar....until then......

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Day 2

I am struggling with Day 2. I am chewing the gum, drinking the water and all I can think of is any kind of chocolate. I am craving it beyond belief. I think it is a mental "war" in my head. Eat the chocolate and use a cheat eat-are you crazy why would you use one now. This is my thoughts back and forth. Ha! I am going to take a small break and walk for about 15 minutes. I think this will help and it is a gorgeous day out. Once I take this walk that will make me forget all about chocolate. Until then.....

Monday, April 20, 2009

day one

Today was day one of the 42 day challenge. I started out by working out for only 20 minutes on the ellipitical. I wanted to do 30 but woke up kinda late. I did good today eating. I did eat at Olive Garden but I only ate salad and soup. I drank 4 glasses of water there. I also had more water when I got home. I did eat a smaller amount of food than I normally would but I think it was because my breakfast was spent in the hospital with a friend who couldn't eat or drink anything until some tests were ran. She didn't get out of the hospital until 1:00 pm and then it was my turn to go to the doctor for a checkup, so I got to starve some more until about 2 pm. Then we ate so late that I didn't eat dinner. So maybe tomorrow will be a better day on eating more balanced meals instead of one big meal. I hope everyone else doing the challenge is doing well. Good Luck.. until then....

Sunday, April 19, 2009

42 day challenge

Tomorrow I will start the 42 day challenge. I am so glad that I found it and maybe this is what I needed all along to kick start my weight loss. I have been really struggling with all of this weight since I got off steriods. But now I will hopefully feel much better. I think it is so ironic that I crave Sonic all the time. Such an addiction to get Large or even Rt 44 drinks... yeah I said it Rt 44 you know you do too at Happy Hour :) Well knowing all weekend I was going to start the challenge and I didn't even get a drink yesterday or today. WoW!!! I am excited yet nervous. What if I am the only one who doesn't lose any weight? Then what! Well I am confident that I will lose at least 5 or 10 pounds. Does anyone have any suggestions? Wish me luck...until then..

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Pray for Stellan

I too have been Praying for Stellan. I hope if you are a follower of Jennifer's blog you will also pray for her. I understand how she can be so down right now. I look at my child and thank God everyday that he is healthy. I understand totally how she is getting really down right now. I am praying for her strength to continue to believe in God that he will take care of Stellan. I have a link at the top of my blog. If you find time to click on there and read about Stellan please do and please just say a prayer for Stellan and his family. Thanks... until then..

Monday, March 30, 2009

set backs again

I had to go the doctor today and I am so depressed now. I don't understand why my body hates itself so much. Why does more stuff continue to be wrong. You find out you have a life altering auto immune disease and you start treatment after treatment to get that under control and then you find out you have another virus that you will have to treat for a year. That treatment is going on now and then with all of this the side effects aren't the easiest. Well now I find out something else is wrong and it is caused by the auto immune disease. Sometimes that wants to make you give up in yourself. Sorry to ramble on and on and be down on myself when I know there are so many out there who are fighting for their lives and have children that are doing the same its just so hard to deal with setback after setback when you feel like you get one foot up the hill you get kicked back 10 steps. oh well until then....

Sunday, March 29, 2009

great results

I took my chemo treatment on Friday like always. Guess what Saturday I hurt somewhat but today on my anniversary I have felt good all day. Maybe I am getting used to the chemo side effects. I am very thankful for my husband for standing thru all this with me. I was worried about the toll it would take on my marriage but so far so good.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

God is Good!

My doctor called today. I have been doing chemo for 5 weeks now. When all of this started the virus count in my blood was high. There was a 50/50 chance it would help... Well today when I got the call from the doctor he said the virus was undetectable. Yes in 5 weeks the virus cannot be detected. Praise God. I have been worried that I was dealing with all of the side effects of the meds and it wouldn't change a thing. Well God answered my prayers. Finally some good news. All praise to God Almighty.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Wednesday already..

Wow! Only two more days until my next shot. I better enjoy how I feel right now. I pray that the first shot I took is the only one that will give me side effects. Well about to call it a night so until then....

Tuesday, February 24, 2009


Today I feel so good. A little depressed but nothing my God can't take care of right? I started reading a book last night called downpour. It is to help guide you back to God if you feel you have slipped away from him. Just reading the introduction makes me realize just how much I have put between God and I. Well maybe after alot of prayer and reading this book I will be much closer again. Until then......

Monday, February 23, 2009

Chemo.... What?

Well I started my shots on Friday night. The doctor said if I experienced any side effects they would happen 2-48 hours after the shot. Well about 11:30 I woke up freezing... We are talking electric blanket on high wrapped around me like a glow worm plus more blankets plus heat on 80 and still shivering. Could not get warm. Then Saturday morning I woke up aching and I had a slight headache. I took some Tylenol and got ready for Drake's basketball game. I stayed a total of 20 minutes and I couldn't take it no longer. I left and came home and bundled up, hit the couch. I was so miserable. All I could do was cry and hurt. My body ached like one should never hurt. Well on Sunday I woke up to feeling like a new person. I felt sooo good. I should have stayed around the house and just chilled but oh not me. I had to get out and see some friends. Then around 4:00 I felt like my body weighed a thousand pounds. I was so exhausted and so sleepy. I was in the grocery store and it took all my strength to hold a two liter drink. Well today I am at work and feeling okay, kinda tired so we will see if I kick chemo's butt or it kicks mine. until then????

Thursday, January 22, 2009

I have been working out everyday to The Biggest Loser Boot Camp. WoW! You would think Bob was in the room with you because he is saying, "don't stop one more you can do it." And dummy me didn't stop to get a drink of water. Yes I could have paused the DVD but nope I thought he would know. I didn't want to upset Bob! Actually by doing this dvd I have lost a total of 5 lbs in one week and that is not by changing my eating at all. Just imagine if I gave up Sonic drinks and changed my eating wow. I bet the results would be amazing. I would love to hear how others are losing weight and their challenges they are facing.